Recently I have discussed with some people the pros and cons of a couple going into marriage or cohabiting only to find it is a big or even huge topic. Let me sum up some perspectives about their views in this article and then I will offer some of mine to you next.

I first thought it would be men in favor of cohabiting until I have many women tell me they opt for cohabiting as well. They have cited not a few reasons for it, among all of them there appears one that is prominent. It is because they don’t trust marriage.

Behind not trusting marriage, they mistrust everything including humans and it is to say they even don’t trust themselves. They tend to think of separation at the very outset of a marriage instead of seeing it as a blessed thing in life and promising to make an effort over it. When such severe mistrust and misbelief envelop their mindsets, they don’t see marriage as a secure thing, they explicitly say they just don’t want to deal with the hard work of divorce, citing going through the experience of separation will be the darkest chapter of life, they just don’t want to have it in their life claiming it was originally good. They prefer to opt for an easier way of being with the men they love by living together. Without a hard copy of the marriage vows, they can live far more comfortably and naturally, and if one day they have to apart, they can at least say goodbye to each other, for there is no hard work needed to do. One wealthy woman even said she doesn’t want to share half of her wealth with her husband if one day they come to divorce, so now she opts for living together.

The above-mentioned is nowadays’ women’s ideology about marriage. They see marriage not merely as a marriage but a complex of finance, freedom, and a bunch of psychological stuff.