Time flies, today marks the tenth anniversary of Father’s Day that I cannot have my dad. Nine years have elapsed since my dad passed away, I don’t know why I still count the number of years of Father’s Day, or I want to remind myself of how I took the past Father’s Days lightly when I have had a dad.

Dad, although time has healed a lot of my pain of losing you, I can say to you such pain would never be healed to recovery no matter how much time has been prescribed to it. Nevertheless, I find it a blessing rather than the contrary, for I know how to enjoy the torment the pain brings. I find the torment wonderfully allows me to whimsically remember you, especially it allows me to remember the most painful moments of my heartbreaking in witnessing your suffering and leaving, and when I am doing so, I feel your existence in my mind. Yeah, it is insane; however, only pain can make us truly remember someone.

Dad, there are not a few episodes of you staying at the hospitals that I can never forget, for they are sweet and bitter testifying to our love and the brutality of illness and time. I am not going to let go of any of them despite I know recalling them is painful. I will let those memories stick in my mind’s eyes forever because I know only when recalling them do I have the perception of you appearing in front of me, talking to me, smiling at me, nodding at me, and telling me how eager you were to go home to be with us in the then coming Chinese New Year. Dad, we had promised you we would take you home, but we failed to do so. We felt so much sorry for you! It is gut-wrenching!

Dad, originally, I want to tell you something about myself, telling you I contracted Omicron in March and luckily got slight symptoms and recovered very quickly. However; when I compared it with your illness then, it was really a trivia gaining no position to talk about. Still, I have told you about it, for telling you about myself is something very natural between you and me, for I know you would like to hear anything about me. And, I know if I could tell you at the time when I was infected, you would calmly say to me ‘don’t fear, don’t worry, it will be fine’.

Dad, the karaoke bars have resumed business with the restricted social distancing measure being loosened. I have sung a song named ‘Empty Chair’ for you. The song wrought with passionate lyrics depicts how a son hysterically cherishes the memories of his late father with an important message delivered to the world warning us to love in time or we will suffer from the pang of regret.

Dad, I love you and I badly miss you!